FREE THE MIND: Key to mastery

“Free the mind” is key in any activity. We discussed about free running.
After I joined sketch and lines India, I noticed that the better artists were Free.
They went beyond rules and I am still not “free” enough. The “freedom” in my art may come from laziness. The lines curves hatches should be more freeform.

I have been testing software for a long time. The best bugs are found when we do not stick to a specified behavior. The User does not read specs. He wants to get work done. And s/he may choose to do it in anyway. The experimentation mode in a software tester needs “free” mind. Remove clutter and biases of a Spec.

Remove clutter and biases? Guidelines? Time? Is it not essential to focus on Goal?

The Goal is to release a high potential software. There is a Guided way. (To do things in stipulated time). It does not ensure that all is well. It only ensures that Scheduled tasks are executed in given time and related issues are fixed. The unguided way i.e. software bashes, result in Unpredictable defects in lesser time. It is always a heart-burn for those who like the guided way.

People working with rules hate/ridicule people working free of rules. Maybe they covet them for their findings or sense of freedom. (In QA lingo, They Term the ‘findings’ as Negative defects, ‘Freedom’ as Indiscipline).

On the other hand people working free of rules disregard those who follow rules, as the final aim is set in the mind. There is no hatred, but just a small pain and wish, “I wish they knew, what it is to be FREE”.

Lot of us “go by the book”. Studious types. You go by the book and you cannot go wrong. Stick to the rules and you can always cling to them and point at them when things go bad.
Doing so they embrace a set cult. Do they fear freedom as it means bear the consequences? What if the cult is built through propaganda?

Just like my Shod friend, I think and say to myself, “Let go the poor feet. Only then you will know what you are missing.”

I am setting this as a “life event” as I realized it this week. Running, Art or work..
To be better in any game, the first step is to be free and confident of your action. Make amendments with self-learning. Be Entrepreneurs.

Learning Art

I do not intend to suggest that I am a good artist, only that I have come a long way.
Anyone can do it with bit of patience.

I was ridiculed at school for incomplete drawings and my art was at pits. Later I was envied by my batchmates as I got a "white collar" trade as "Mechanical Draftsman".
There were better "artists" who felt that the trade required basic good sketching and enviable handwriting, and I was not good at either.
The Instructor was not friendly either. I was the black sheep of all the darftsmen he had trained.

To me, a draftsman needs better understanding of Design, develop and design good ideas (in those days good at Trigonometry.)
My Instructor felt otherwise. Good Writing was must. The Engineering drawing sheet should look like a Printout from the press, equal line thickness, dark as ink.
My colleagues completed 250 drawing sheets. Many of mine were turned down during submissions, I drew 500 + drawing sheets.

When you live in a hostel, and are coveted, you get used lashed at by people who feel they are better in various ways, but less opportunate than you. 
You take it every now and then and TILL 
Till the point; YOU REBEL.

You got to show people their worth. Shut their mouths for once and all!
This is the first stage of development. Development by Pure 'Khunnus'. If you can do it so can I. (This kicks at Teenage.)

The FIRST Stage reaction was driven by Anger and then Determination.Not by Ambition or passion.

I took a dame from some advertisement. Sketched her in HB pencil. I had to use grid to make the copy perfect. This dame got me some acclaim.
Few more pencil sketches and then at one weekend, I borrowed some old oilcolors and painted my first oil. It was the face of Kim Novak. This time I increased the size of the grid, to make it challenging.
(It looked good but nowhere like Kim. But who knew Kim at hostel.)
It was the last year at the hostel and I churned out few more Grid copies of simple photographs turned to Oil paintings of A3 size.
'
Any task when repeated creates a finer craftsman and at the end the 'black sheep' ranked top in Pune. Anyone who gets treated like shit should know that the worse he gets treated, the better he shall become.
True almost everywhere in life. You learn (only) through failures. 

Oh..I intended to talk about art and I drifted to self glorification.I am not THAT good and I truly appreciate and covet better designs and art. 

The SECOND stage: Can you be equally good?
No one taught me art. I did not have art materials. Every thing cost and I had limited resources.
I invested in 36" wide Canvas and Oil colours. There was no choice. The painting had to be perfect.
True that no one from hostel would see it but It had to be good enough to please me. The subject was Velazqueze's nude Venus.
I was 24 years old and still a bit shy to approach the subject. I mentioned it to my dad who can draw quite well.
He told me about the challenges in drawing Humans but asked me to give it a try.

This time I divided the large canvas in very large grid. 4 Squares horizontal 3 squares vertical.
I sketched with an HB pencil. Then gave toned washes. I used to work on it after coming back from work.
The Painting was ready at end of the month. 
I exhibited the nude at Balgandharwa Gallery. When I visited the gallery, my Painting had won me Third Place.
The prize distribution ceremony was held at the Hostel. (I remembered the days I was ridiculed for my art.)
None of my colleagues were there to cheer me. I could not show off my prize and I did not care.
A famous critic from Mumbai was presenting the awards. At the age of 24, I walked to the stage and got my first award as an Artist.
The paintings were displayed on one side of the wall. I was watching the spectators.
As soon as they moved in front of the nude, they would shy away their eyes and jump to the next one.
It was only then that I realised how BOLD my subject was. Most of the people did not talk to me. A young girl approached. 
She was probably learning art and she mentioned, "Congrats. Your painting is terrific."
I thanked her but I was so engulfed in triumph that I forgot to ask her about her Entree.
I kept copying and copying. I copied Monalisa,Lady Macbeth and Turners and Ruisdaels. I finally felt sick as all of the paintings used the old colour shades that the Realists stuck to. (Never did I realise that they had tough time Creating Paints from Dyes.)
Later I was influenced by Renoir's impressionism. Monet never appealed me apart from the Flag day Painting. Towards the end of this stage I had moved away from Grid based copying.

The THIRD stage: Leap of Faith
In 8 years of painting, I had scrapped almost all my watercolors. I painted them too dark. They were patchy. Not Bold enough. They lacked Character.

I moved from Oil painting to Watercolors mostly influenced by Milind Mulik's book.
BUT, I felt the watercolors were too bright and dark for my appeal. I loved the faint British watercolors and I could never come close to any of them.
For the first time in my life I went to Empress garden to do On the spot sketches. I was alone and People would occasionally walk over to glance at my progress.
The result was great. It was much easier to paint by self and it was so difficult to copy other paintings. The spot paintings gave me a new confidence.

I quoted to someone what I felt after the changeover. 
"Oil Painting is for Politicians, Watercolors are for adventurers (Entrepreneurs)." (Copyright is solely mine.) 

Nothing can ever go wrong with Oils or Acrylics as they can be patched with another opaque layer of paint.
In watercolors almost anything can go wrong at any point. We need courage to take corrective steps, use the accident to avoid a mishap.

The FOURTH step: Courage 
Courage to accept criticism what matters to you. Give a damn about rest (But it could be a buyers viewpoint that has monetary value?) 
As an artist, I should feel good about your approach. Only "I" matter.

Tread and experiment as never before. Use seemingly ridiculous medium.
The art may sell or may not. Its your art. Selling is a different aspect. Think as an artist and not as a businessman, to be a better "artist".
Feel good about your creation that is unique.

Use Photographs/ paintings only to get a good color value or posture. (You will not get Models) Drape the figures and change the faces and the mood, Light and shadow, perspectives, avoid copyright. Acknowledge if you copied something by naming the artist.

The FIFTH step:- Appreciate and learn other art forms. Develop them and you shall develop as a complete artist.

I am a struggling 5th grade student of Art in Adult education program. 

SCMM 2014 and 'Run free'

Run Free?

I have been observing Vishy for quite some time. To me he is the epitome of run “free” motto. The modern Gandhian uses Khadi clothing (which is spun by him). He runs bare minimal..ie no shoes and survives on a vegan diet and completely natural ingredients. He stays simple.

How far can I take this Run free needs a series of adaptations and experiments, before I convert! 

I survived on lemon-Salt-Water during Chennai Marathon. But I kept looking at my watch during the last 4 kms. It was a marathon where I realized my true potential for effortless running. 

Unfortunately, I was in shambles when I looked at the watch 4 kms from finish line. I tried to establish what it would take to finish for sub 5 target. Even with 1km (near) sprint at end I reached at 5:04. 

The watch had brought me pain and I changed my thinking to overdo my natural pace..The target caused pain and the end of the run was not as satisfying as it should have been.

Time to recover went for a toss as I was running with two infections. The medication was strong and I felt feeble during 5 km run. I have a pathetic training record in Dec 2013 -Jan 2014.

My wife was very concerned about my illness and the depression that followed. She was monitoring me constantly and talked to get me on my tracks. My son had joined her and was equally concerned when I took a long training gap. (He was doing good training for 9km in 45mins. He had a valid concern for his father.)

I ignored exercise and went on a moody painting spree. I was not quite satisfied with my artwork too.

A week before SCMM, I was able to run 13km at my old pace and returned to BF running doing loops at the race course.The racecourse loops are easy gradient but the track stingeth like serpent and biteth like an Adder.

I had lost touch with NIBM running group. I had not run with a group for more than a month now. I was missing the company. In my notion of free running I had built walls about myself. I can be very cruel and ruthless to myself.

Can I run free?
Was I guided by my friends who do better pace than me and I force myself to run at theirs?
What is my true worth?
Too much thought and I planned to find for myself.

Repeated loops at the racecourse are very boring. Train in boring circumstances get paid on the real run.

Good points:

• I can cache my running fluids at one point and nourish myself.
• My wife joins me and she takes a walk.
• No company. I monitor myself and am driven by myself. Not be "competition".
• Worse track than normal road. Keeps my feet ready for better road conditions.
• No tree shelter. Evening run. Bear the sun at 4:30PM and get paid with evening breeze later.

Bad points:

• No gradient.
• Not cheerful atmosphere. Repeated loops.
• My Unfriendly behavior. No contact with my running group.

To carry out an experiment I was willing to do above..So pardon me my dear friends.

What is my  free running interpretation (As of now)?

(Many friends will completely disagree with this but I am learning in the process. Will keep making changes.)

• ·        The aim is to run a long distance and not a race. (Race is comparison. Against self or with others. Comparison has a baggage.)
• ·        I should strip off all gadgets that tell me my speed. I should observe the body and not the watch.

·        Without a watch you watch the body, with a watch you watch the watch.

• ·        Thou shalt use natural ingredients ONLY. (Live to the basics. Understand what the body needs not what others tell you or give you free.)
• ·        Never get injured. It is never late to pull out.

·        What I did not follow for free running, which I am still in a double mind:

• ·        Buying SCMM Bib and cover travel expenses. (SCMM is unique time to meet my friends from other states and my Running group. Travel brings experience.)
• ·        Live off the road. (In this concept developed by Nitin/ Jeetu) you use available water on the road.I drank mineral water. (Not exactly the right thing to do when palatable water is available. Build resistance to drink any stuff).

·    A whim: I plan to do an ultra where I should live off the road. It’s the same as a trek. No support team. It may seem like a stupid thought but this is what comes to my mind the way I lived my life.

Vegan: Naahh..I skip that. I eat meat once a week. I am too immature to try this.

Khadi?..Perhaps later when reduce flab. I shall use T shirts from past events.

The SCMM telecast:

Finally we are fully immersed in a much cherished event. The pilgrimage to the runners Mecca. SCMM 2014. Quick security scan at the World trade center and we get inside. I scan some of Eyecandy stuff around stiff upper lips though. Bodies trained in Gym. Nah. I prefer Chennai crowd, which I find more open and easy to mix. “Keep it Zimple.”

We collect bibs and bump into Vishy and Muthu which results in a long chat.I am with a family that I like.

Vishy comments, “ Iske haath me Saraswati hai.” I muse, “ Aur pair me ..?” These guys are many levels ahead of me and they can motivate me for long time. I hope I do not create idols of my friends.

I meet Aditya and he mentions that the hotel where we booked is overfull. We have lunch at Kamat. The bakwaas from the train carries on, at new levels of ultra stupidity. We holler with laughter. The semi bachelors are using the event to get back to the days of youth at the hostel.

We take a bus to CST and go to Hotel Manama.

Miss Shetty is replaced by some one else. Lot of crap right from Rajasthan sports team under camera surveillance to ‘Over booking by Travel sites’ that seem as lame excuses when we observe Foreigners being allocated rooms right under our nose. MANAMA. Guys Why do you do this to us Indians? @#%$^*&

Nitin: “Damn. We paid money one month in advance. Cut the crap.”

Nitin, Ritesh and I are escorted to a shady looking hotel. We are shown one ghastly room. We booked luxury class. This one looks as shady as a Brothel.

And finally..“11 people. No we have only one room..”

The replacement of “ Ms Shetty” finally provides us booking at a hotel at Cuff Parade. No. This one is not shady. Not Luxurious either. But we have a little better choice.

The hotel manager is willing to pay for the taxi to CST early morning. So we settle down. The surroundings are expensive. A banana costs Rs 5. Bare Minimal Ehh?

A light night dinner at Kamat and we retire to sleep. (Yeah ..We have finally manage to get food supplies at less cost.)

Not much of a sleep and I wake up.. (The watch says 12.00) Ahh..Another 3 hrs to get sleep.

3AM the alarm goes on. Nitin hits the bathroom and I try to get some more sleep. Umesh is still conked off. I prepare tea for myself.

We are all ready by 4:45AM. The taxi takes us to CST. To P or not 2P.

I wait in the queue to reduce the water content trying not to breathe inside the booth. 

Soon we jog to the holding area.

The race has started and it’s a long crawl to the start line.

I do not wear a watch. I feel free. My pouch has my Phone and few dryfruits. A headphone (if reqd). 

My feet hit the road. It is nice and smooth.

I spot Bhupinder (Ultra runner) Both of us weave our way to the front crowd.

Marine drive, The turn at Oberoi hotel and back to Queen’s necklace is effortless. Wonderful cold and humid wind. Time flies and I have passed the Peddar road. I keep wetting my legs with water. Its so refreshing!

The half marathoners appear on the other side of the road. The early birds come flying. The crowd on the other side gets larger and dense. I cannot spot any known faces. Soon, I hit the Sea link. I fish out the phone and start clicking. I had decided to go easy on the sea link. It is ok to spend more time on the a beauty spot that gives a different perspective of Mumbai.

Vivek Bhargawa joins me and we carry on for some time. I run for some time with Umesh then I am back in my lonely world. Around 20km I meet another runner from Surat. He talks about the Surat Night Marathon. “We will catch up on FB. Bye.”

From 20km line, I observe that my pace might be actually better than before. 

Forget the pace. Focus on the body. 

There is a guy with Oranges and salt. I shove a few bits doused in salt and snatch a bottle of water.

“Hello”,says someone from behind. I look over the shoulder. Its Sunil Gwalani. “ I follow you on Daily mile. Congrats on your ultra.”

Sunil smiles back. He has mistaken me for Ram Ve. Sunil is in walk-run-walk mood. I have decided to walk few steps only when I eat of drink. He has always caught up with me well..till point 27km. 

I increase my pace as I want to run alone. (Sorry Sunil. It is a must for my experiment.)

As I hit the sea side I see Sujit running on the other side. It means that I am slower or he is a bit faster. Few minutes ahead I see Nitin and Rupesh going strong. I holler in encouragement. I see the 4:30 bus on the other side.

I meet Hari and Sanjay (my Pune running mates). I carry on at my pace.

I am in a trance. I observe many people walk. Only a few of us are running. Though I am focused on myself, the surrounding IS disturbing. 

I don’t want to be slow. I don’t want to be fast. I want to feel good. 

What you see is a myth. You should be what you want. 

I keep running. Even on the Pedder road slope.

“Cheer” girls are singing “Jai Ho”. The song inspires and I give my best to run along. Some one is serving Tea to the marathoners. 

No..I must  keep focussed. These are the sirens that call me to the shore. My odessy must go on.

I hit the Marine drive. Humid blast..The sun works on my mind. 

There is an ‘Ice station zebra booth’ I pick few cubes. My Upper back is complaining. My foot joints claims that they are being misused. The Ice station zebra commandant rubs Ice over the muscles. I am good to go again.

I am at the border of Pain and suffering. I choose to be a MAN to separate myself from the child. (Salute Emile Zatopek)

Its KM 38..I hear, “Parag”. I look behind and am surprised to find Sujit. 

Sujit should be way ahead. He is 4hrs material.

“I had a cramp.I blacked out and had to take medication. I am not pushing it too hard as I do not feel good enough. The Doc gave me a clean chit after Stethoscoping me and checking my eyes , tongue, Pulse. Probably I started too fast. ”

I have a lot of respect for Sujit. He will never push to an injury. It has got to be serious but he might have been quite right to go easy. I feel sad for him. He mentions, “Go Ahead. I will be fine.”

The pain is too much. I have been heel landing for a long time. Midfoot landing is painful. The 5 hr bus is close behind. No. I will not give up this time.

I increase my speed to a consistent jog. I end up with a 100mt sprint (If you call “that one” a sprint i.e). 

I look at the digital figures of the clock. This is the first time I saw a clock in  5 hours. 

5:06.

BLAH..It’s not a sub 5 AGAIN.

The bad part..I am not as fresh after the marathon as Chennai. I over did.

I did not enjoy the last part (as in Chennai). And the verdict is 5:06 + BLAH.

I walk painfully and find Neeraj. He has flown in at Sub 4. I feel happy for him.

I say, “ 5:06. I do not know for sure as I do not have a watch.”

I catchup with Sujit and his bro and we callup Nitin. Vijay has finished his first run in Sub 5. Nitin and Rupesh in 4:30.

We rush back to the hotel and pack. Just in time to board Chennai Express.

On the train my friends mention that the results are published. Hrishi checks for my Bib number.

 He reads out.. Its 4:59:07. My friends congratulate me on the sub 5.

I am happy for myself. But the number 5.. What’s so special? 

My legs are in pain. I am not taking a combiflam this time. Can I take the pain?

I am happy for Nitin and Rupesh the most. I have got back into a mind game of comparisons that should be avoided?? 

I can NOT reach in 4:30 with such a pain. I will get an injury if I attempt this in current circumstances.

Nitin knows me well. He mentions, “You run with baggage. Leave the baggage and run free.”

I know he wants me to go through the training despite work life challenges. At this point, I am not prepared to do so. I think “It’s my poor feet that I abuse. I cannot permit myself to abuse them beyond my limit.”

But thinking beyond myself, my well wisher is right to tell me point blank. Take rest. Train better and you will be better. Then Run Free.

If I do not spend money on Gym I should not pay for running. No matter what the world wraps around the package, as charity events.

Will I participate in paid events is a question? Will I run 42km is not a question. I certainly shall.
The “Cost” and “benefits” factor shall decide how and where.

-The Selfish myself