Austin Powers: Operation Tankbund

The latest sequel of the series, being currently filmed @Tollywood (Ramoji Film city.)

To ensure a connect with the humor, (attempted), readers are advised to watch the first three parts. Those who do not, may not understand the jargon nor be able to appreciate this non-sense.

Writing about marathon runs is getting pretty lame IMO with repeats about time, pace, strategy and feelings,  so bit of humor will do no harm.

“Let’s hop on the train to Hyd-sville, run the marathon, wear the new red T shirt, grab the medals and hop back home and…! Yeah Baby; Yeah!” 

It had seemed like a simple plan to Mr. Powers (By Name and by Profession). Only that, he hadn’t factored in the obstacles, that were designed to obstruct his way, by an evil mastermind known as…Dr..Evil.

Since ‘Danger’ has been his middle name, Sir Austin has always been ‘shakin off ‘ obstacles since early 60s, to live in the present, and use what’s available; the obstacles serve as a Whey, to more power!  To the utter annoyance of his nemesis, Dr Eeevul’s careful planning to the last detail, has often been derailed.

Or so he thought, untill..

25 August 2019...People's Plaza, Tank Bund, Hyderabad

(Speakers vomit loud Techno music to pump up the jam for runners)

"Are you ready" Some meek sounds, mumble for speech ..another request, "louder".. 

Austin fumbles with his Mobile device from the agency. It was specially designed by Q armed with a 48mp camera, he can now photograph the finger print of a rat. 

Someone on the stage is wishing the runners all the best and says something about the beautiful weather that runners are blessed with. He observes that with time, there are more Malebots and Fembots with ripping physique trained and focused for the serious run. This  is a long way from his league of "Run for fun" guys and gals, that now seem dwindle after 9 years.

At 5am, the crowd paws to the start line and the run has begun.

Austin pushes a button on mobile, that should start the recording and slips it back into waist pouch.

His mind passes back to July when it all started.

July 2019...Austin's pad, NIBM road,  Pune

Birthday celebration time off by his agency is well used.  Vanessa's birthday follows his and the earlier weeks of July have been lavish. Gorging food has increased his weight to 78kg..which is red alert. He goes for a medical checkup which shows many red underlines. The good part, No pills yet, if he switches to healthy lifestyle. Protein is advised, reduce carbs, Zero sugar, Olive oil/Ghee based cooking etc. B12 and D3 pills and of course; less time on the easel and regular morning runs begin. His colleagues have presented him with a Samsung health go fit device, to track mileage. and the plan is to feed it with at least 6000 steps per day. It is a wake up call and an every day 8 km run in morning plus 5 k walk during commute replace the lame routine. The concept of a rest day is shelved, as, no good. A rest day means 5 km walk.

A  Gym instructor had pointed out to him that his intake of protein is low. It should be at least 8 eggs per day. So A daily dose of whey is added. This adds a red under line to Creatinine level in his next med report. Austin decides to limit its use to only 10km runs or whenever he feels fatigued. 

A fast and Up tablet "Activate pill" before each run ensures of less fatigue and absolutely no D.O.M.S. on the next run was suggested by Agent Q. Indeed, these small changes and major change in life style contribute to wards a major weight loss from 78 kg to 72 kg.

30 km and 21 km long runs with 9AM start time, ensure that he gets enough of sun. Austin is still cluelss about his real pace, as, these hard blazing runs in middle of traffic, always end with poor time. Time for 30 km was 3:45, not very encouraging, as it shows no gain in pace, compared with  past.

Along the Tank Bund, the pleasant weather and slight wind helps to build a better feeling in his mind, The hard training in heat and traffic is paying off. Jaljeera glass after last night dinner and fast and up activate before the run, have ensured a flat stomach. The 10 km mark is reached in an hour or less , briefly supported by very light showers. This time, he is ahead of the half marathon start, which is indeed a chip on the shoulder.

The mind is like water, a clean stream of positive thoughts. He uses the technique, he devised in past. Fast pace deep breath bursts followed by steady pace jog for relaxation. This worked in Bengaluru marathon and it should yield a better result. At 21km he watches the self timer on his Casio which tells him he is good at 2:08 (his fastest time as yet) . He has ensured fast and up gel every 10 km. 

He has looked around every  nook and corner but there is no sign of Dr Evil nor his Frau farbisanner. He is not sure if Agent Basil is ahead or behind him.Well, after the split from 21 km crowd, every man runs for himself! He must ignore the people, who have switched into a walk , as the companionship of such is infectious. 

Music is a companion and his playlist entertains.

Whigfield blurts Dee dee na na na, saturday night, dance, I like the way you move. Yea baby yea... 

Funkytown  beat sets the pace for him. However, unlike any other Music, The beatles  sing out to him earnestly from across the universe.

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup

They slither while they pass, they slip away across the universe

Pools of sorrow waves of joy are drifting through my opened mind

Possessing and caressing me

Jai guru deva om

Nothing's gonna change my world

Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes

They call me on and on across the universe

Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box

Tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe

Jai guru deva om

Nothing's gonna change my world

The run through the university is pleasant. He has ignored the ice water bath, that lure all weary runners. This is his first zero walk run and he intends to keep it that way. A guy yell, 'its just 3 kms remaining. '

Sounds of laughter shades of life are ringing through my open ears

Inciting and inviting me

Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns

Calls me on and on across the universe

It's now a 700 mts dash to the end line and a cameraman waves to him.

The red carpet inside the stadium and the end line beseeches and Austin switches into a faster pace towards the glorious end.

The agents take a cab back  to the the hotel for a sumptuous Andhra meal. Austin wonders about Dr Evil. Why No show up? What does he have up his sleeve as the final showdown? He didn't win the race did he?

There is a message on his phone. The train back to Pune shall be 4 hours late. Is it a ploy by Dr evil 😈? The showdown begins when a passenger train and two local trains  followed by one raajdhani express overrule a priority express train .

Shatabdi arrives late at 7:35pm. The train attendant mentions of repairs that caused the delay. It does sound like Dr evil.

Quid pro quo powers..  It's not a question of where Mr powers.. But when?
5am next day.? This is not the only time it happened. Remember Auroville marathon? King fisher flight delay? Sounds familiar?

Buhuhahaha
Buhuhahaha