Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Life after a two day death

We were to meet at the Police Station at Yuksum. Sada's uncle was at the station. He was in tears.
It must have abeen a bad shock for him, as he saw me alive. This only confirmed Sada's death.
I tried to comfort him as he begged for a last look at his nephew.
He mentioned that he was completely confused. He had recieved confirmation message that had declared Sada alive. My family must have recieved the opposite news i.e. a confirmation of my death.

I asked him to believe in us as we were present in person.
A rumor can be so destructive.
He had travelled all the way to confirm the death.

It struck me that my existence could have pained another bereaved.
It is a situation, where I am a pawn unable to do much; other than confirm a rumor as wrong.

We had also written to the police of the high level of co-operation, we had recieved from Rinzing.He was cleared.
After the lunch, Rajesh asked us to leave for the Bagdogra airport. He would stay for a day or two to clear the formalities.
I made a call to PTC office and confirmed the news.
Had a call from Prasad that went on for a long time.It was good to talk to the friend I had started my adventures with.
He must have been worried. Not to mention my other batchmates in Austraila.
On our way back, Shantanu struck an interesting conversation that set me thinking.
This had been going on now and then in my mind. The collage of my thought formed the portrait of Explorer.
People who continue to climb are different from the rest. We need challenges outside our regular job.
We are passionate about nature. We tend to try to outperform. We take calculated risks.
What may seem logical to us might be illogical to others. We want to be super human.

I wondered the stress the rumors might have put on my family, my friends and my team.
Though I had not stepped beyond my limit, this would perhaps never be understood by those, who think unlike me.
If I care about them, does the climber have to die?

There is excess energy that needs to be channelised. I could deep dive into art and develop my creativity. Buy a nice mountain bike and hit the road. Perhaps run the marathon.

The "rebirth" was well celebrated as old friends poured in. I was energised as  I felt the expanse of my friend circle. Why should someone die for me to realise it?

I feel that no one should go through the same pain as me to realise his or her importance.

As the climber dies in me, I recollect an old episode.
I was on my way back from Mt Satopanth and the expedition had not gone well with me.On my way back I fell on my face as I tripped on a slope. This had never happened to me before and it was a shock.
How could I fall? I had often stayed in balance in past. I knew I crossed my limit and thought of retiring.

I recall the words a foreign tourist had said to me, then.

She said, "Give up climbing? You must be kidding. A climber never retires."