Austin Powers: Operation Tankbund

The latest sequel of the series, being currently filmed @Tollywood (Ramoji Film city.)

To ensure a connect with the humor, (attempted), readers are advised to watch the first three parts. Those who do not, may not understand the jargon nor be able to appreciate this non-sense.

Writing about marathon runs is getting pretty lame IMO with repeats about time, pace, strategy and feelings,  so bit of humor will do no harm.

“Let’s hop on the train to Hyd-sville, run the marathon, wear the new red T shirt, grab the medals and hop back home and…! Yeah Baby; Yeah!” 

It had seemed like a simple plan to Mr. Powers (By Name and by Profession). Only that, he hadn’t factored in the obstacles, that were designed to obstruct his way, by an evil mastermind known as…Dr..Evil.

Since ‘Danger’ has been his middle name, Sir Austin has always been ‘shakin off ‘ obstacles since early 60s, to live in the present, and use what’s available; the obstacles serve as a Whey, to more power!  To the utter annoyance of his nemesis, Dr Eeevul’s careful planning to the last detail, has often been derailed.

Or so he thought, untill..

25 August 2019...People's Plaza, Tank Bund, Hyderabad

(Speakers vomit loud Techno music to pump up the jam for runners)

"Are you ready" Some meek sounds, mumble for speech ..another request, "louder".. 

Austin fumbles with his Mobile device from the agency. It was specially designed by Q armed with a 48mp camera, he can now photograph the finger print of a rat. 

Someone on the stage is wishing the runners all the best and says something about the beautiful weather that runners are blessed with. He observes that with time, there are more Malebots and Fembots with ripping physique trained and focused for the serious run. This  is a long way from his league of "Run for fun" guys and gals, that now seem dwindle after 9 years.

At 5am, the crowd paws to the start line and the run has begun.

Austin pushes a button on mobile, that should start the recording and slips it back into waist pouch.

His mind passes back to July when it all started.

July 2019...Austin's pad, NIBM road,  Pune

Birthday celebration time off by his agency is well used.  Vanessa's birthday follows his and the earlier weeks of July have been lavish. Gorging food has increased his weight to 78kg..which is red alert. He goes for a medical checkup which shows many red underlines. The good part, No pills yet, if he switches to healthy lifestyle. Protein is advised, reduce carbs, Zero sugar, Olive oil/Ghee based cooking etc. B12 and D3 pills and of course; less time on the easel and regular morning runs begin. His colleagues have presented him with a Samsung health go fit device, to track mileage. and the plan is to feed it with at least 6000 steps per day. It is a wake up call and an every day 8 km run in morning plus 5 k walk during commute replace the lame routine. The concept of a rest day is shelved, as, no good. A rest day means 5 km walk.

A  Gym instructor had pointed out to him that his intake of protein is low. It should be at least 8 eggs per day. So A daily dose of whey is added. This adds a red under line to Creatinine level in his next med report. Austin decides to limit its use to only 10km runs or whenever he feels fatigued. 

A fast and Up tablet "Activate pill" before each run ensures of less fatigue and absolutely no D.O.M.S. on the next run was suggested by Agent Q. Indeed, these small changes and major change in life style contribute to wards a major weight loss from 78 kg to 72 kg.

30 km and 21 km long runs with 9AM start time, ensure that he gets enough of sun. Austin is still cluelss about his real pace, as, these hard blazing runs in middle of traffic, always end with poor time. Time for 30 km was 3:45, not very encouraging, as it shows no gain in pace, compared with  past.

Along the Tank Bund, the pleasant weather and slight wind helps to build a better feeling in his mind, The hard training in heat and traffic is paying off. Jaljeera glass after last night dinner and fast and up activate before the run, have ensured a flat stomach. The 10 km mark is reached in an hour or less , briefly supported by very light showers. This time, he is ahead of the half marathon start, which is indeed a chip on the shoulder.

The mind is like water, a clean stream of positive thoughts. He uses the technique, he devised in past. Fast pace deep breath bursts followed by steady pace jog for relaxation. This worked in Bengaluru marathon and it should yield a better result. At 21km he watches the self timer on his Casio which tells him he is good at 2:08 (his fastest time as yet) . He has ensured fast and up gel every 10 km. 

He has looked around every  nook and corner but there is no sign of Dr Evil nor his Frau farbisanner. He is not sure if Agent Basil is ahead or behind him.Well, after the split from 21 km crowd, every man runs for himself! He must ignore the people, who have switched into a walk , as the companionship of such is infectious. 

Music is a companion and his playlist entertains.

Whigfield blurts Dee dee na na na, saturday night, dance, I like the way you move. Yea baby yea... 

Funkytown  beat sets the pace for him. However, unlike any other Music, The beatles  sing out to him earnestly from across the universe.

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup

They slither while they pass, they slip away across the universe

Pools of sorrow waves of joy are drifting through my opened mind

Possessing and caressing me

Jai guru deva om

Nothing's gonna change my world

Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes

They call me on and on across the universe

Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box

Tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe

Jai guru deva om

Nothing's gonna change my world

The run through the university is pleasant. He has ignored the ice water bath, that lure all weary runners. This is his first zero walk run and he intends to keep it that way. A guy yell, 'its just 3 kms remaining. '

Sounds of laughter shades of life are ringing through my open ears

Inciting and inviting me

Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns

Calls me on and on across the universe

It's now a 700 mts dash to the end line and a cameraman waves to him.

The red carpet inside the stadium and the end line beseeches and Austin switches into a faster pace towards the glorious end.

The agents take a cab back  to the the hotel for a sumptuous Andhra meal. Austin wonders about Dr Evil. Why No show up? What does he have up his sleeve as the final showdown? He didn't win the race did he?

There is a message on his phone. The train back to Pune shall be 4 hours late. Is it a ploy by Dr evil 😈? The showdown begins when a passenger train and two local trains  followed by one raajdhani express overrule a priority express train .

Shatabdi arrives late at 7:35pm. The train attendant mentions of repairs that caused the delay. It does sound like Dr evil.

Quid pro quo powers..  It's not a question of where Mr powers.. But when?
5am next day.? This is not the only time it happened. Remember Auroville marathon? King fisher flight delay? Sounds familiar?

Buhuhahaha
Buhuhahaha

Pink Panther and The TATA MUMBAI MARATHON 2019

‘Thanks, but I don’t do popular choices’…neither am I, a Jaguar. Of all the cats, Pink Panther suits me. Inspector Clouseau’s randomness has a rival.

I observe, Good experiences are actually, a consolidation of many good happenings, that reach epitome exhilaration, with the least planning and predictability/ expectation, just like my arch rival, dear Old Inspector Clouseau. The awe factor is max, when the planning is the least.

A goal is at the back of 'Ze' mind and there is no constant awareness about it, as things do not fall in place, as when they should follow, with a “must do” plan. I find less experimentation in planned activity. You achieve all the goals to the “Expectation.”

I should warn, hazardous are the ways of Inspector Clouseau, and anybody attempting to mimic may have higher chance of mishap, a shade grayer than Pink Panther, in case, he struck again.
M.Clouseau is an artist by heart, but he finds bugs for a living. (The bugs are found, through random walks of a designer turned software QA guy. A larger part of the Surete, goes by logical detection and a plan. They are not amused by random walk that end in  not-found surprises, especially when close to case closure.)

After office, when he heads back to “Ze Reum”. Ze critic of software, is now a part time Creator to strike a work life balance. The werk at home is to refine creativete` or continue to make accidents, that either produce good art or end up as an art-fill in the waste paper basket.

Art equipment is costs and ‘ze reum’ is full of it. Surete` pay may not help keep up, so he is forced to create art on commission, to those who can afford it.

Can you do a portrait for me was, till recent, was received with a khaki overcoat collar up, cold shoulder “No”! 'Portraits on commission are  probleme.'  He cannot be the wild artist, stop where he wants, but MUST create a like to like image that meets the purchaser’s eye. He usually goes through a series of exchanges to make corrections, to be as human as the mood allows.
Recently, he was busy with oil painting of a dancer. It was followed by another watercolor for a friend of his. Commission paintings come with a delivery timeline. He stands beside his easel to work for 2-3 hrs at a stretch. At weekend evenings, he goes for run at race course and lately he has been feeling too tired and sluggish to go on runs.
He has not given a thought to the most rational explanation of 3 hrs of easel work may leave a stiff back and frozen shoulder. Stiff back does not promote running at evening. Frozen shoulder does not help to shrug and Ze Eyes are tired and hazay..so a nap suits, a noon siesta is on the cards.

Painters have whims and they use the atmosphere around to get into the mood. Monsieur Clouseau, is no different. As the clock ticked to the approaching marathon, he has ensured couple of long runs of 30 km each at any time of the day he feels positive. There are very late morning runs, few afternoon runs. Couple or almost no weekday runs. Weekend runs are too slow. He has no idea, what he should expect on the D-Day and 5.30 timing seems apt, if not unreachable target.
The unplanned commission work is completed, just before the marathon day and he agreed to carry it to Mumbai, rather than mail it.

On the train, he purchases a head cover with bright orange and yellow design, which he feels will come handy, when he has to camouflage himself from the rest of the runners.
To test the impact, he tries it on a Surete` colleague, to drape like a Sardarji. If he finds the diamond, this is safe place to hide it.

 Zeir is one guy in his team who has a plaster on his hand. How can he run with plaster? 

He could be carrying diamonds!

Ze Railway 'reum', is bit nastier than he left, in his last encounter. Ze lockers have broken latches and they will not be able to hold diamonds anyways. At 1.30 AM midnight a suspicious character is chatting on his cell 'phyone' with his son. The ramble continues without any objections and sleep takes over till 3AM morning alarm.

Run begins at 5:30AM.. Lot of 'positevete' in the mob, makes M.Clouseau run at much better pace than he dreamed. The weather is worse compared to last year.
It is a dream solo run , if he cuts off himself from few arrogant people who want him to “make Reum” for them to go ahead.. esp when Zeir is plenty of reum already, why zis arrogance.

People drop trash on the road, Zey shoot bottles like football that might hurt Barefoot runners, zey have no time to aim for ze bin. Ze run ends and he feels afresh.
He crosses the borderline and tries to find a breach to go to CST terminus without collecting the medal. He has successfully avoided adding more junk in his cupboard for last two years. But this time  the Pink Panther is well secured from all boundaries, he must enter ze ground. Zis time he must stand in queue and accept  the "Ordre national du Mérite".

On way back to the Reum, Ze bag is given to a beggar. Ze junk metal and towel is carried back to ze reum, as it may be used as disguise in future , be used as a can opener or scrape paint off the palette.
He joins his surete` team for journey back to Paris.

Yet another case. Solved pretty faster than he expected. i.e 4:47 to the finish
https://sportstimingsolutions.in/share.php?event_id=47265&bib=1169

Affinity: Photography : The value that I paid for

Photography was not a hobby of mine, till the early day of trekking. Having a snapshot for memory sake, was a luxury. The early photos from my cycling trips were taken on my friends Isoly, which was 110 mm film camera.

My early experiments were on my Dad's Pax Junior. It was an old Japanese aim and shoot camera with 35 mm film. It had shutter speed and aperture setting, I guess the aperture itself had timed exposure. I was too poor to afford a Film. Even a B and W roll had to be used carefully, so that each frame was perfect and yielded in a good print. Each bad print meant print cost+ x/36th of the film cost (x=number of wasted snaps).
For my first experiment I set 1/125 and F5.6 to shoot all of them. The focus had to be guessed manually, there being nothing for parallax removal. Owing to a malfunction in shutter spring my entire roll was overexposed.

My early adventures, includes the Rajdher 350 ft Wall climb were without photographic "evidence".
I went off to Basic Mountaineering course in 1985 without a camera. It was the most cruel thing to go on a Himalayan climb with no camera. (These were the years when Hotshot camera appeared in market). During my return from basic course we were wandering in Pahadgunj specifically looking for Mountaineering equipment, i.e. haversacks. I remember, we had 1 hr to catch the train and we were in this small shop bargaining for second hand Polish make Tourist frame-haversacks. The deal was made and he asked. "We have two SLR cameras."
My heart beat wildly. My friend and I were so excited as we handled our first SLRs.
It was a Zenit 12 XP model. 1/500 max shutter speed 1/16 Aperture. Ground glass focus. "Rs 1000/ camera". The deal was made, rushed to the station and the train moved.
The two dots inside the camera told me that exposure was OK and I could shoot. A heavy clang of the guillotine like shutter made sure that every one heard the shot.
It was a heavy camera (2KG) that I used on Mt Kedarnath and Mt Matri. I think the body was brass like. The camera emerged with winning colors on two accounts
1) A fall on Dhak Pinnacle..The camera banged on the rock
2) A slipped rucksack on Mt Matri glacier approximately 50 ft fall, the camera took at least 3 direct hits in the moraine of granite like shrapnel

After Matri, I felt I should buy a lighter camera for Alpine style climbs. I sold my old one (again for 1000INR). On a trip to fort, Mumbai, in one of the shady looking shops that sold "imported stuff"  and I bought Olympus OM10. It had a Manual adapter sold separate.
Several rolls and many frustrations later, I cursed myself for having parted with my Loyal Zenit.
The OM10 shutter response was too- slow and always burned all my films.
Especially, it is a big pain and anxiety making many stabs at my patience when I am eagerly waiting for the results of a climb after 1 month only to know, the result is overexposed.
There were no shops to repair the camera. To the few I visited told me "All IS WELL".

I went back to another "shady shop" to barter my OM10 for another used camera. This time I chosse NIKKORMAT. It was similar to Zenit. Completely MANUAL..(By now I detested anything automatic). It came with a faulty Exposure meter, but who needed one! I had developed expertise to a good level by then. A few snaps from my Pre-Everest expedition to Manda and Mt Bhagirathy were satisfactory and I was pleased. Most unfortunately, the mirror of the camera lost the coat and the location of exactly on the focus.

A lot happened to my life after Pre Everest. I was not on the final team. I was down with money. But I was on another team that planned a Alpine style expedition on Satopanth. After pooling in money I had enough to swap my Nikkormat with a NIKON FM10. From the camera shop, I took my new toy, and visited the Everest team at their packing site in Mulund. I think they were too surprised to see a castaway show up.

The castaway had found his true love and Everest sorrow could be drowned on Satopanth, Alpine style.

Satopanth slides were beautiful. FM10 was a good and light camera. But, Satopanth was also my last large expedition. I changed my Job. I had twice the money, but I had no heart for the mountains. The photos were now restricted to my family trips and my Growing son and daughter. I purchased a Sony DV CAM. A 3.4 mega pixel Fujifilm during a official trip to Japan.

Few years down the road, at age of 40 I again attempted a small mountain and the main reason was to use my Handycam and Fujifilm. (These were during the years when 5MP camera had started selling in market at very high cost)

Few years later I bought a D5100 from Singapore. A 28-200 Nikon lens from a store in Japan. Unfortunately, these new "liabilities" were not used as I completely retired from climbing.

I have lost my "affinity" for camera now. I and many of my age, have gone through pretty much the same course of expenses towards photography, few of us have spent lot more. Only to realize today that a snap costs almost nothing. 13MP can be taken on a Mobile.
In almost 20 years, I  may not have more than 10 "selfies" from SLR, even with auto timer..and now many people think they are extremely essential to survive.

I know the "value" of photography as I have been paying for the evolution, a cost that many have not even imagined.
But wouldn't it be worth a try for some days, to photograph such that each frame pays back a dividend? Please do not shoot because it is free. Shoot minimalist. Shoot what is best.  Make every frame speak for the quality of choice that you make.